My light bulbs miss me?

This is an email I received today from Philips Hue, the company that manufactured my lightbulbs.

I use my lights every day. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that I use my lights about as often as I need to illuminate a book I might be reading, or make the room less dark, so I’m not sure what Philips mean when they say “It’s been too long?”

I use Philips Hue bulbs for three primary reasons:

  1. To illuminate my living room which without light bulbs is not visible; in fact, I would go as far as to say that without light bulbs, my living room is dark.
  2. To throw a relaxing crimson hue across my walls and ceiling, and calm my weary mind from the stress of being in the dark.
  3. To get out of the negative relationship cycle I’d had with a string of previous light bulbs.

Are they suggesting that I should turn my lights on more often? Surely that would be bad for the environment? And how frequently do I need to use my lights in order to meet their required relationship standards? There’s a real concern here that if the frequency of light bulb use is too great that I will spend most of my day standing by the door flicking the light switch constantly on and off. Surely they don’t want that?

Oh, and I also bought them so I could do this:

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I read a lot and write occasionally.

What are you thinking?